A bit of humor

Well, the cows went through a section of the fence that the elk knocked down & we spent the evening hours doing damage control last night. I patched twenty feet or so good enough to last until Sunday when it is supposed to be dry. I ran out of light. 

It's raining now and I just don't feel the urgency!

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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed and, in general, began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said—"Well yeah, if that's what they are—I never heard of circle flies."

So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey... wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"

The farmer says, "Oh no, Officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."

The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."

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A policeman stopped a guy for driving erratically. He peered intently into the driver's eyes and said, "Your eyes look bloodshot, have your been drinking?"

The guy peers into the policeman's eyes and says, "Your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?"

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In case of emergency this is good to know. I had a flat tire on the interstate, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my life-like men, which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road.

And, of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me. He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

"What's going on here lady?!!!!!"

"My car has a flat tire,"I said calmly.

"Well, what the h---- are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers."

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